Awkward pictures from a zoo

Warning to squeamish photo-viewers: There are bad, and even juvenile, photos below. Press on at your own risk.

MILWAUKEE COUNTY, Wisc. — So, it’s hard to take good pictures at a zoo. The animals don’t always want to pose for us, and they’re far away, but that doesn’t stop me from over-zooming and clicking away at whatever I do see!

milwaukee_zoo_2013 (14)The eyebrows of a pacing hyena (take my word for it, I guess).

milwaukee_zoo_2013 (13)The retreating end of a cheetah who was intimidating just moments before this picture was taken.

milwaukee_zoo_2013 (15)There was a mellowed-out brown bear. Its luxuriating in a water feature prompted my wife to say, “I’m jealous of the bear. That’s my vacation.” She brainstormed her own zoo exhibit: “Middle-aged woman in her natural habitat. I’d lay there, play with my feet. They could bring me drinks.” And signage around her exhibit, instead of saying that she was “rare” or “endangered,” would say she’s “doin’ pretty good,” she said.

milwaukee_zoo_2013Here’s a barely differentiated mass consisting of two bonobos. They were pretty sweet, though, just hanging out, grooming each other. They made me question all my urges to accomplish things. They made sitting around seem pretty good.

milwaukee_zoo_2013 (1)This gorilla’s eyes seemed nearly human, and so was this business studying his finger.

milwaukee_zoo_2013 (2)OK, I was trying to take pictures that weren’t necessarily the most common angles. Still, I’m not sure what to do with a picture of camel butts (other than post it online and mock it).

milwaukee_zoo_2013 (3)Again, this isn’t an angle one often sees of a rhino and its prodigious poop.

milwaukee_zoo_2013 (4)Doritos in their natural habitat.

milwaukee_zoo_2013 (5)A herbivore whose name escapes me. I made sure to zoom in far enough for everything to be grainy as hell.

milwaukee_zoo_2013 (6)A hornbill whose head-parts fascinated me.

milwaukee_zoo_2013 (7)Giraffe tongue: purple?

milwaukee_zoo_2013 (8) A kangaroo post-pratfall.

milwaukee_zoo_2013 (11)One of the ideas that came to mind was to photograph the animals that weren’t necessarily on exhibit. Or if this rabbit is supposed to stay with the giraffes, there may need to be smaller gaps in the wires.

milwaukee_zoo_2013 (12)This chipmunk (or gopher? He wasn’t properly labeled) exhibited himself in the hops patch of the garden near the “Family Farm” area.

2013_08_08_mh (186)There’s a small-scale railroad that runs through the zoo. One time we had to wait as the arms came down on the path we were walking. I suggested we go around the arms, and my wife said, “the last thing I want to do is get run over by a not-real train.”

milwaukee_zoo_2013 (9)And finally, at the end of our trip, I took perhaps my favorite awkward photo — the chicken and horse rides on the carousel (in motion, of course).

2013_08_08_mh (188)When the carousel was stopped, one of the human animals did cooperate with the photographer.

2013_08_08_mh (168)And the photographer himself, when exhibited as above, was mistaken for a member of the zoological society (Really: A dude in a golf cart asked me why this tent was there, and I said I didn’t know, and he said I looked like a zoological society member).

4 responses to “Awkward pictures from a zoo

  1. I liked your pictures it seemed like you had a fun time.

  2. Alissa Kirkwood

    Entertaining post 😀 You’ve definitely mastered the art of taking top notch photos haha! Never seen a Doritos vending machine before, a first for me.

  3. Your and your wife’s comments tickle me. Always nice to laugh…or be amused. Thanks.

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