‘The Bible — is there a lot of parts to that?’: Overheard in my study hall

This post is updated with quotes from the rest of the semester in my study hall.

MonkeyMoonMachine

What follows below are things actually said by the high school students in my 9th hour study hall this semester. While some of these things may have been said mainly to get attention and/or laughs from other students, this is authentic dialogue of real (if inauthentic) human teenagers:

Dramatis Personae:

Teacher: Mr. Hagemann (me, the recorder of these bon mots)

Senior boys: ND, QF, PC.

Sophomore boys: JH, EC, CF (who mostly sleeps)

Freshman boy: DE

Dialogue

10 March 2014: JH said in a low, quasi-whisper: “ND is printing!” “It’s true,” quipped ND.

10: “I was just a little off,” said JH, after he said there were 4 seconds left before the bell when there were fewer than that.

11: JH said “Kobe, Kobe, Kobe” as he passed my calculator between his legs, then dropped it. [“Kobe” was presumably a reference to the basketball player.]

11: JH: “Oh…

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