1. Does anyone have a way to forge receipts to cover the expenses from my affair?
2. Does anyone know an easy way to get dried blood off a desk?
3. Does anyone have an extra bag of dog crap I could use to prank my supervisor?
4. Does anyone mind that I puked in the mailroom but was too drunk to clean it up?
5. Does anyone know the name of a good hitman?
6. Does anyone else have any complaints I could add to my anonymous letter of complaint to the Board?
7. Does anyone have time to look at this weird skin-thing on my inner thigh?
8. Does anyone have a jock-strap I could borrow just for 10 minutes?
9. Would anyone go with me to try on wigs?
10. How would I go about hiding an illegal bribe?
11. When would be too soon to start dating again?
12. What do you all think of my beard?
13. Should I still be this angry about what my 1st-grade teacher did to me?
14. (For teachers) How soon can I reasonably turn in grades if I don’t feel like grading final exams?
15. (Also for teachers) I flunked a student because I didn’t like him. How can I explain this so it sounds better?
16. Should I move?
17. Does anyone have a mongoose I could borrow for a day? I’ve got cobra in my cabinets.
18. Does anyone need a lightly punctured mongoose?