Here are things I’ve overheard my high school students say in recent days.
1. “I hate gravity because it throws my stuff on the ground,” said student.
2. “Sometimes when I tuck in my shirt, I tuck in my hair, too, ” said long-haired student.
3. “I got in trouble because I was lookin’ up cat herpes or something, ” said senior student.
4. “It’ll be funny SOMEday,” said senior girl after a senior boy sustained an injury while engaged in what the oldtimers would have unironically called “horseplay. ”
5. “We need more bus,” said a student on a school bus that was more full than usual but wasn’t actually all that full. “Double up. Quit your whining,” deadpanned the bus driver.
6. “I’m not that smart, I promise,” said sophomore student after I told her to stay away from my computer so I didn’t suspect her of changing grades.
7. “This is from, like, a decade ago,” said senior girl as she turned in an assignment due 3 weeks ago. “You did this when you were 8?” I replied.