Idea-Realm: Random bits of Journal 175

§ I’m just so tired. Oh, M and I had Mexican food about 4:30 til 5:07. We were too late afterwards to go sign stuff at bank. M didn’t mention it ’til 5:07, and we had to be there by 5–and blerg. And blerg again. This is a blergy mindset I’m in. Blerg blerg blerg. Moving on. [Page 294, Thurs. 25 April 2013]

§ Sam’s adorable. He so deliberately takes the mostly empty cottage cheese container from his food spot in pantry over to the carpeting–just because the carpet’s easier to push against. My dog’s a tool-user? Woah– [Page 256, Tues. 23 April 2013]

§ Garbage morn. Escapey cat silently (well, I didn’t hear him) pulled the unlatched door open and got into garage. I got him back with a cheese treat, though he didn’t eat sprinkles (“cheese from Heaven” or “it’s raining cheese” — how does M say it?) [Page 510, Tues. 7 May 2013]

§ I had a thought last night that I don’t really care so much about posting stuff to my blog. What I said yesterday about my process–my lifestyle, my way of life being a writer–was that I don’t care so much about external [things], and the blog is mostly external. Main reason I’m keeping it going is as a place for my students to read my work. [Page 549, Fri. 10 May 2013]

§ Some dude on TV gave the argument that Illinois should have concealed carry since every other state does–as if that were a good argument. That same person would likely not use that same argument (the “others do it, too” argument) if he disagreed with the policy. Maybe an argument is invalid if it can also be used for opposing policies? [Page 27, Weds. 10 April 2013]

§ Maybe language is great for criticizing, or better for criticizing than praising? There’s “damning with faint praise,” and there’s implicit criticism of those who are not praised while others are. [Page 214, Sun. 21 April 2013]

§ Now I’m much less stressed than I was Monday about dog walk, but it still feels like a burden to have to think about this other dog. [Page 273, Weds. 24 April 2013]

§ When I question ideas and theories, when I say things like “we know nothing,” then that can sound nihilistic (and get into that paradox of knowing that we know nothing). But I had the thought yesterday that I’m not being nihilistic. Rather, I want to keep an open mind–a mind not limited by what others have already said and proclaimed. Not nihilism but openness, a sense of possibility–possibility comes from not holding onto our ideas too tightly. [Page 435-6, Fri. 3 May 2013]

§ Now, this particular moment, I feel tired. Feelings are mainly–only?–in the present.  If we remember how we felt in the past, that’s a memory of a feeling. And we can think about distant times and places and feel, but those feelings are still in the present. Well, for that matter, everything is in the present. [Page 423-4, Fri. 3 May 2013]

§ And what else? Ah, probably nothin’! It’s just another rainy day in April–no farmwork yet. Our forsythia hasn’t yet bloomed, though it may soon. And what else? Well, there isn’t–doesn’t need to be anything particularly new to say. All the houses today seem to be in the same place they were yesterday. [Page 297-8, Thurs. 25 April 2013]

§ I was reminded of that place when I read parts of Journal 66 that mention it. I liked some things I read in there–what I wrote about visiting Art Institute, and what I wrote about how kids know their mothers’s body better than their father’s — or certainly we did. I did in my family. [Page 597, Sun. 12 May 2013]

§  Somehow it seems silly to just worry about making things–ideas–to tell other people, to be a good operator in this idea-realm. … Idea-realm as this multidimensional space where, as a person growing up, you don’t understand. Idea-realm is an unknown territory to you. But now, age 39, I feel like I’m mostly familiar, at least with the common ideas. [Page 51-3, Fri. 12 April 2013]

§  “Chewing gum goes in the waste basket not in the urinal” says a taped-up piece of paper above the men’s room appliance named above. In Times New Roman font, 12 point or so size. [Page 470, Sun. 5 May 2013]

§  Last night I went to bank, post office (mailed nine bills), and then Walmart to get snacks–candy, mainly, including chocolate milk, Twizzlers cherry bites, a sleeve of Breath Savers mints, Quaker Oats granola bars, raisins–let’s see, also chocolate chips, Brach’s “bridge mix.” I’ve had desire lately for root-beer barrels sucky candy (“sucky sweets,” as that one theater professor called them). Maybe that’s it– oh, two boxes of multi-fruit Tic Tacs. A lot of crap there. Each different one a different taste/texture of candy: sucky sweets (mints), granola, chewy (bites), chocolate (bridge). And also got shaving cream and hand lotion. [Page 322-3, Sat. 27 April 2013]

 

 

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