10/8 FRI night
〉 Haven’t taken much time for myself lately—no writing, etc. I’ve just gotten up and been on the go all day.
〉 My culture—I think I still like gardening, etc., but it’s been so long since I’ve practiced and lived my culture—whole foods, etc. First step is to quit smoking.
〉 Sitting outside tonight (smoking, but I didn’t until 6:30 or so—I’m cutting back), I realized that I really am moving/moved home (home area), indefinitely, for first time since high school.
〉 This whole few weeks has really amounted to a big change—direction of my life being altered by nudges. I won’t be same person as before.
Sat. 10/16 11:30 pm
〉 I miss Dad. I got to feeling tonight that I wished I could just call him up and chat, hear his voice, etc. Just to be there, with him.
〉 So many questions, riddles—he was first to get to work and last to leave, so he liked to be around people, right? But then why not fix the phone? Why didn’t he just invite us boys, or uncle G. or aunt J. over to his house?
〉 J. and G. were down tonight about 4. We talked outside for about 2 hours, then went to eat in Oregon (Sunrise diner, where Dad and I ate after Grandmas’s visitation).
[Fri. night, 8 October 1999; 9 Oct. 2000; Sat. 16 Oct. 1999; all from Journal 26, pages 191-2]