A red compact SUV drove toward dog and me, window open—other side of road but I think I smelled cig smoke after it passed by and I assume I was taking in some of his breathed air. And so, yeah, I don’t know—it’s possible the dude breathed out coronavirus particles. Or maybe I—though I never got nearer than 40 feet—breathed in some particles from two dudes walking in the park, or bicycle dude who rode past us and said hi as we went north on G___. And I was aware of wind direction, feeling safer when I was upwind—but I felt the wind coming from west or SW when I was in park, from south when I got back to J___ and was headed north, and from the E-SE when we got back to E__. Weird.
And I worried about getting virus and I thought, maybe what we worry about is what we take seriously. If I’m worried, what I’m worried about must seem like a real possibility—thus, real. I’ve said before that what is real to me is what I take seriously. And I worry more now about virus-catching than I do about losing my job—though M fretted about it a little last night. What if the state of Illinois goes bankrupt or cuts back so hard that I’d lose my job, M wondered/worried aloud. And I said, well, we’re all in this together—the whole society, the whole economy, works only because it’s people bonded together, acting together.
[From journal of Sat. 11 April 2020, Journal 321, pages 76-7]