8:40, 40 minutes after previous page:
[A supervisor] used to tell me I should seek promotion. But recently I thought, why would I? Maybe [supervisor] thinks we should all be ego-motivated. But maybe it’s like Charlie told that one guy—if you were as smart as I am, you’d see money doesn’t matter. … My gig is good—it allows me time to write!
After writing, I went to TV room to lie down but felt tempted to turn on TV and watch Today show with Amy Robach and Lester Holt, though I almost immediately get annoyed by that show. And perhaps that’s what troubles me about Internet usage—I’m drawn to it but often disappointed by what I find.
Also, in general: When I’m certain, when I’m becoming certain about some idea, that’s probably the time to let the idea go and start on a new idea—I’m not sure that achieving certainty about a belief or idea helps me much. Keep seeking.
My thought yesterday that, no, my personal life, my thoughts about my life, this farm, my job, etc., these particulars that I’ve thought might interest others as writing—these things don’t really even interest me. I’m much more interested in thinking about these ideas about or ideas from life than I am in merely recapping my experiences. So tell those ideas to others through writing.
Also, my life story doesn’t have much drama—my daily life—but why should drama, action, be required? Can’t routines be interesting, too?
4 p.m. DISH Channel 212: Satellite pics of the Earth updated every 15 secs. or so. M & I got a little freaked: I because I said, what if it stops spinning while I watch! M because she’s afraid we’d see a spaceship or a comet cross the screen.
Violets & dandelions are out.
[From journal of Sat., 25 April 2009, Journal 110, page 193]