You don’t have to know what the proper group names are at the moment (proper for the moment)—you just have to not speak as if you’re talking only to people just like yourself.
Had a wonderful summer-type feeling on Sunday—I felt a looseness—that I didn’t think about school work for a while, that it felt OK to just buy stuff and set it up. Diving into cleaning up the library. Anyway, I wonder if this looser, more carefree, summer attitude was related to the warmer temps and the sun. I mean, I’m still tired, but just feeling better.
Weds. 7 May 2014 5:49 a.m.
My right middle knuckle got scraped on a cabinet edge as I reached for tea this morning–so I left my mark on the facing page.
And Old Man C__ asked me not to walk Sam through their yard. “‘Cuz why?” I said. Because he pees and poops and leaves his scent. I gestured with the bag I was carrying—I always pick up after Sam, I said. He said he has a dog (and he didn’t say that the dog smells bother his dog, but he seemed to) and I said, OK, will do. M said, when I told her, that she might not have said “‘Cuz why?” So we thought about why he would’ve said this—especially because 3-4 weeks ago or so he chatted with me and said nothing about his yard—and so, sure, it seems silly to me to worry about dogs walking or peeing in one’s yard. And really, he doesn’t get to say that to me without seeming like a grump. I mean, if K__ or somebody I have even a minor relationship with had asked me: sure, no big deal. M said she has never understood the C___s. She wonders if they are snobbish, look down on us.
[From journals of Tooz., 6 Mae 2014 & Weds., 7 May 2014, Journal 195, page 52]