Maybe that’s why all the fertility goddesses

I was a bit worn out yesterday anyway. Took a nap yesterday morning, but was otherwise fairly active. Making sure there were enough flags in the electric fence, making cans with gravel and flags for the driveway, then training Sam to the fence and doing three loads of laundry. We went to Chinese food in Oregon about 4. Came back, … and then I took down my hanging clothes (it was a sunny, warm (near 70°, or at least mid-60s°), breezy day. Eric Nefstead of Channel 17 said the month so far is 10° above normal—and if that trend carried through, it’d be the warmest April on record. (Seth Meyers on SNL Weekend Update commented on FedEx buying four electric delivery vans. His comment was, “Can’t you feel those glaciers coming back?”—sarcasm on the global warming.)

And here we are. So that jumbled retelling clears me head of most of what I wanted to record. C__ brought some people to visit—her relatives? And B___ was here holding a goat, he and a few others. It’s spring, so let’s go see baby animals. But perhaps there is something spiritually pleasing about seeing new life, baby creatures, baby humans, maybe—maybe that’s why all the fertility goddesses.

That “Yo Momma” vocab book mentioned (in comic context of seriousness, a context of comic seriousness, and not serious comedy) something about not having a kid leaving one spiritually and emotionally unsatisfied (I read this Friday). This was in the section of the “Yo Momma” jokes too serious to be funny (your momma so ugly she can’t attract a mate, etc.)

That seemed a harsh thing to say, that spiritual thing. Jeez, I guess I doubt if it’s true. If I don’t have kids, I won’t know what it’s like to have kids.

(M__ & T__, C__ & I__’s son and daughter-in-law, were here in a.m. getting manure for their garden. He talked about his two kids in college, trying to pay for that. His daughter, now 23, always wanted to argue with them, he said. And they got a dog because somebody told them the dog loves your kids even when you don’t, or it’s hard for you to love them, or something. His face reminded me a lot of C__’s— something about the widely set eye sockets, or something—but it seems too obvious to mention—”Hey, you look like your dad.”)

But I also look at people who do have kids, and I see the work, the struggle, the costs. Sure, I’m missing out on the joys. Those are probably mostly private, anyhow, like how we enjoy Sammy. We tell stories about him (M said Gracie was a philosopher; Sammy’s smart but crafty, seeing what he can get away with. And yet, he seems to have learned this boundary pretty quick (and Ph__ said she told her dogs “careful, careful” as they get close to the line—that seems to be working with Sam.) He might be actually very smart, perhaps smarter than Gracie when it comes to learning things from us. He’s willful enough to not always obey, but he seems very trainable.

[From journal of Sun., 11 April 2010, Journal 125, page 141-4]

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