I’m special to this journal-text: Without me, there is no text

10th hour:

Saw: The outdoors during the fire drill last hour. … Saw KF send new schedule for next year. Meh. Dude teaching dual credit speech is here just two hours/day, I saw.

Did: Thought I could write this journal about how I’m special.

Topic today is about a time you felt dispensable. I feel that way around here, [at school], especially in department meetings, where I don’t feel I get much agreement on my ideas (B__ pointed out sometime this year that he was agreeing with me and how odd it was for him to do that.) …

I recorded that 13 people are gone from this 10th hour, for Kish [community college] registration, maybe.

Me as special (and I’m trying to save paper today so there’s enough left for tomorrow’s journaling) — I’m special to (within the context of) this journal-text: I’m the author, the creator, the pen-mover. Without me, there is no text. And yet, does that context matter much? I guess that’d depend on how popular this text ever got — which, now that I’ve written about …, maybe I don’t want these texts out there.

9 p.m. (8:59) Tues. Eve.: In what sense am I (or, do I want to be) special?

[From school journal of Tues., 16 April 2019, Period 10, Journal 300, page 242]

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