Tag Archives: 2013

Already it’s 5:33, sh!t, 5:34. A moment is no-time. There are no moments.

Already it’s 5:33, sh!t, 5:34. A moment is no-time. There are no moments. What there may be is crystallizations of one’s consciousness, a crystallizing around one idea.

P__ lives near N__—cousins who ended up living near each other.

Just read the ___ profile in Esquire, and it’s less vapid than most profiles but still plenty vapid. But what can you write about someone who’s famous for being a lovely object—and a voice, he mentions her voice—and he talks about basically each moment of her actions (I just said moments aren’t real) so that she must’ve felt like she was acting for him. …

For some dream reason (which is to say, no reason at all?), I dreamed I was back in the old house at __—gone now, it can exist only in my dreams—but I was in my old room upstairs, headboard between the two windows on west wall

(M said ____ is a jerk at court but people let him walk up to the judge because they wanna be done quickly with their biz with him. M said she and others joked about a program to “Be __ For a Day”—be a jerk for a day, basically)

[From journal of Thurs. 17 Ockt. 2013, Journal 187, page 23-4]

Distinctions, adjectives: one implies the other

We don’t get much help with childraising in this country. I could use that as an excuse for why we don’t have kids (I think I just heard some adult male voice say,”Behave yourself”—might have been Beardy to Dale, or vice versa.). But then, this is just an excuse. Policy didn’t hold us back—not having gotten pregnant did.

5:09—got a call—3 hours later! of writing

Yeah, all stories are interpretations!

Evening: 

—Interesting products of a mind.

—What interests me may interest you.

—What interests me now may not later, etc.

—My past journals may interest me more than interesting others

—Distinctions—adjectives: one implies the other. Tall implies short. My personal opinion implies impersonal opinion?

—I don’t need to think all the time—just when writing! (but it’s not like I try to think—ideas come, write down, let go)

At 5th Alarm last night, B__ (our waitress at diner) said her son, learning to ride bike, “lost his focus on ‘I’m gonna crash and die; I’m gonna crash and die'” and on the ice cream for their meal: “he didn’t eat it and I didn’t need it.”

[From journal of Friday, 24 May 2013, Journal 176, page 118]

Texts as models of behavior—ways to live, or not

An idea about thinking of these characters as people: then the Iliad (or any narrative) as a consequence, as a playing out of the consequence of that choice—I’d hate to write fiction in that way, by thinking of the characters as people—I mean, whatever—but I can use that as a critical approach. It’s actually not far from what Edmundson’s Teacher book says he liked bout his teacher—that they looked at texts and talked about the texts as models of behavior—ways to live, or not. And Agamemnon looks like a jerk—giving up his girl, wanting another, and yet maybe he felt he needed to prove his leadership. And Achilles wasn’t really his subordinate but his ally—and the Iliad as a lesson in why loose confederation is not a great way to organize an army for war! Have questions like this for kids to answer—because what I lacked in high school and college was life (living) experience. Now that I’ve lived more, I feel more qualified to judge others’ behavior (rather than read novels, I go to public places and people watch—that’s my reading and my writing combined).

[From journal dated Thurs. 10 Ockt. 2013, 5:30 a.m., Journal 186, page 44-5]