Here’s the countdown of the best quotes I overheard from my students this week:
5. “He’s stabbing her bun,” said a girl as a boy was pushing a pencil into another girl’s hair.
4. Two young women in the hallway. One said, “You don’t give ME any gum.” The other answered, “I’m just saying, I’m giving you gum right now.”
3. In an argument between a boy and girl about outdoorsmen’s excretory practices, student said, “I know five hunters who took a crap in the woods.”
2. Student informed the class (during work-time) that she expected to be grounded Saturday for what she would be doing on the Friday night yet to come. When her mom asks what she did, student can’t lie, she said, adding, “They say they love you but I don’t think they do.” Classmate asked for clarification: “Are you talking about your mother?” Yes, student said.
And the week’s best quote is:
1. After student said he didn’t like a girl’s shoes, another girl said that was like saying he didn’t like her face. He answered, no, it wasn’t like that at all because “you don’t go out and buy a pair of face.”
1. “James, get your head out of my armpit,” I said to a student. I had my right hand on a computer between two students, when the one on the right leaned his noggin under my arm in order to see what was on his neighbor’s computer screen.
2. “[Adderall is] not prescribed for underaged drinkers with hangovers,” I responded to a student who had told the class his hangover cure was “water, greasy food, and Adderall.”
3. When a student offered me the opportunity to play in the tackle football game he was organizing with his friends, he told me that the game would be “touch football for you.” I RSVP’d, “I don’t want to be touched by that many people.”
4. When I told students that the music they were hearing during their journaling time was by Stan Getz, a student responded, “Is he rich?” I said, “Stan Getz? I don’t know.” This wasn’t the first time this particular student has, seemingly seriously, asked me questions that seem more like non sequitors.
Posted in Nonfiction, Teaching, Transcribed from life
Tagged Adderall, armpit, classroom, hangover, head, high school, high school students, high schoolers, James, Mr. Hagemann and His Teachings, non sequitor, quotes, Stan Getz, stuff teenagers say, teenagers, teens, touch football, underaged drinking