I’m not sure what to do about my sleepiness — it seems unnatural and if it keeps up, … but maybe I didn’t really relax over the summer and I finally hit some kind of wall. And maybe now that I’m as old as I’ve ever been, I need more sleep — or, I can’t get by for weeks of 6-hour- or 7-hour-per-night sleep. …
In that dream-house (a shack, really, floors were uneven, power outlets seemed sketchy — it really wasn’t a place anyone should be living), they (the three older ones) allowed someone — a poor guy? — to crash there. And there was a sad little long-haired dog — a spaniel, maybe, with matted hair — looked like a slow-moving, handleless mop head. Old packaging, too, in house — a 1981 phone book. Brother N was young and briefly at some other house, as if he were making delivery.
[Colleague] J.H. told me I was drinking wine with her in her dream. She told me this yesterday after, apropos of nothing, asking me if I like wine.
These last 2-3 days have felt weird, unnatural — especially at work. These last three work days have seemed to take long times. I wonder if others go through school this way most of their days — which would be sad. I wonder what this would look like to write it — a grim day as compared to a feeling-better day — it might just be a grim piece of writing. Though I could write a sample day in the life of me as teacher.
Thought about how Kerouac’s stories, his lifestyle, make more sense for someone who has no job or family — that is kinda the collegian’s lifestyle. But he doesn’t have much to say about getting along with individuals at work, say, or neighbors, or boredom, or all those adult problems/questions. He writes about religion because that’s one of the few things he can talk about (like retirees in general turning to religion? ) since he lacks a job, routine, family or other typical-adult experiences to write about. … It’s the workers, not the retirees or Kerouacs, who care for things and people.
[From journal of Thurs., 19 Sept. 2019, Journal 308, page 253-5]